Saturday, 10 November 2007

Just A Suggestion...

Further to my introduction into the world of serving suggestions, I bring you a cautionary tale.


After my previous postings highlighting the need for caution, I was contacted by a concerned & embarrassed reader to offer his own tale of woe.

I will let him take up the story...


"It all began one innocent Sunday morning, on my weekly trip to Sainsburys. I had decided a day or so before that I wanted to liven up my breakfast routine & was on the lookout for something to replace my usual dose of `Rice Crispies'. Imagine my excitement when I spied this nestling between the Sugar Puffs & the Frosties...


Promising Wholegrain Oat Goodness together with plenty of fibre, this looked like just the thing. Rashly, I threw it into my trolley & rushed off to complete my shop.


On Monday morning it was with great excitement that I took the new box from the cupboard. It was than that my nightmare began.


As a newcomer to this particular cereal, I was unsure how best to enjoy the wholesome honey clusters. Looking at the thoughtfully provided serving suggestion, I began to wonder whether I may have bitten off more than I could chew (if you'll pardon the pun). I began to Panic.


I had no honey in the house. Certainly not in such a posh looking jar. I certainly didn't posess a honey stick - I'm not even sure what it is called. That day I went to work hungry.

That lunchtime I rushed to Tesco (other supermarkets are available) to look for honey. I couldn't find the exact jar, but I took a chance on a jar of `Rowse's' that had a suitably ribbed effect jar. Next it was off to find a serving stick. I tried Matalan on the off chance but no luck, it was Debenhams that bailed me out & at the end of a frantic lunch hour, with honey & stick in the bag, I was flustered & £5 down on the deal.

Next morning I eagerly reached for the box & threw a handful of clusters on the table. Having placed the honey jar in position I was horrified to notice something that I had previously overlooked - the innocent looking ear of wheat (OK, I KNOW that its not wheat...NOW). In dismay, I put the cereal back in the box. I went to work hungry.

After work, I took the car & drove to the country in search of a wheat field. Fortunately for me I had started this breakfast quest in August & not January. Having found a suitable field I purloined a handful of ears that I thought should be sufficient to see me through to the end of the box.

Wednesday morning dawned bright & hopeful. Clusters were scattered, honey & serving stick were at the ready, wheat was placed into position...when my partner mentioned that, actually, looking at the box, it didn't look much like the wheat I had gone to such lengths to obtain. I looked closer - agghhh! she was right, clearly NOT wheat. It appeared to be some sort of wild grass (OK, I know NOW!). I went to work hungry.

Thursday morning, fistful of grass in hand, I approached the breakfast table. `what's that?' my partner asked. `Grass' I replied (actually I used some more words but you get the gist). `What for?' In answer I took the box & shook it in her face.

`That's not grass'

Hungry & rapidly losing my cool, I asked her why she thought that.

`Don't you think that it's more likely to be oats - as in wholegrain oat goodness?'

At this stage, I'm not ashamed to admit that I broke down in tears. In response, my partner slapped me round the face & shouted `It's only a bloody suggestion', took the box from my hands, found a bowl from the cupboard, filled it with honey clusters, poured milk over & put it on the table in front of me.

Actually, they were rather over rated. I've gone back to Rice Crispies.

1 comment:

James (UK) said...

*Laughs*

Yes, stick with Rice Krispies. These new fangled cereals are far too elaborate for people like us...

I thought the poor sod was going to starve to death in the end!

;-)